Hillary to Lead ChinCare: Abdul Named SOS

President Obama announced yesterday that his socialized medicine plan will be passed by the time Congress goes into the August recess. He also announced ChinCare, a plan to expand ObamaCare to include the Chinese.

"Several days ago, I instructed my administration find ways to make free health care available for as many people as possible. China has a lot of people, and today I announce our plan to extend health care coverage to the Chinese nation. I've appointed Secretary of State Clinton to oversee this bold initiative, she will serve as the Health Czar of ChinCare, as part of her new role within my administration. I have appointed Paula Abdul as the new Secretary of State." Upon her confirmation, Miss Abdul will be the first Mezzo-Soprano to ever serve in this position.




When asked, given the current recession, if America can afford to offer medical coverage for the Chinese, Obama replied, "Look this is about making health care more efficient. China has somewhere between one billion and one trillion people. With ChinCare, we will make health care more affordable for all. We as Americans can no longer afford to ignore this problem. Of all our trade partners, China adds the most to our national debt. We buy a lot of cheap crap from them that would be cheaper, if we can offered them free health care. When the Chinese pay for their health care costs, they pass those costs off to us. I'm saying, with ChinCare, we can do it for less.


One reporter brought up the failure of during the 1990s'. Obama was clear with his response, "Look, Hillary recently broke her elbow - she understands health care. The people who continue to oppose socialized medicine have never broken an elbow. She also broke a tibia or fibula once, but she doesn't remember which one."

(A call Clinton's office did not reveal which leg bone she broke. However, a spokesperson did confirm that she went through menopause sometime between Gennifer Flowers affair and Paul Jones affair. )

Yang Dong Wong, A Chinese farmer seemed excited about Obama's plan. "Ta ma nin Mie gou!" exclaimed Wong, as he smiled and pointed his middle finger westward.


On Abdul's qualifications to be Secretary of State, Obama praised her as being "one of the most widely recognized figures in reality television", citing her experience on the TV show 'American Idol'. "Paula's soft bitchiness on 'Idol' has made Simon a nicer person", said Obama.


Griselda Borgia, Co-chair of the Mezzo-Soprano League based in Newark, New Jersey, thought Abdul's appointment was long overdue. "For generations mezzo's have been given only minor roles in the opera and we've had no voice in Washington or world politics."

Obama will be holding town hall meetings to promote ChinCare starting next month. His stops will include Akron, Tianjin, Harrisburg, and the Yangtze River Delta. ABC News and China Central Television have agreed to simulcast the events.