Top 11 Reasons The International Olympic Committee Rejected Chicago's Bid To Host The 2016 Olympics
11. Required that the host nation be financially solvent
10. Still angry over lack of prostitutes at the 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics
9. Refused to accept Obama's demand that ACORN have exclusive rights to manage prostitution at the 2016 games
8. After listening to Obama's speeches for the last nine months, IOC decided that America wasn't really that great a place after all
7. Everyone knows that totalitarian regimes put on the best Olympics, but the committee decided against Chicago anyway
6. Committee didn't feel that Michelle Obama had sacrificed quite enough
5. IOC members kept confusing it with Cleveland
4. The IOC is far more afraid of the possible repercussions of offending a guy named Lula than the President of the United States
3. Athletes would have to wait until 2020 for treatment of injuries under Obamacare
2. Brazilian women look better in thongs than those sausage-snarfing Chicago chicks
1. Persistent rumors that Chicago's big shoulders were steroid enhanced
"The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons, hacks, fakirs, aggressive dorks, Lamborghini libertarians, people who believe Neil Armstrong’s moonwalk was filmed in Roswell, New Mexico, little honkers out to diminish the rest of us, Newt’s evil spawn and their Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man suspicious of the free flow of information and of secular institutions, whose philosophy is a jumble of badly sutured body parts trying to walk. Republicans: The No.1 reason the rest of the world thinks we’re deaf, dumb and dangerous." - Garrison Keillor
I love the list! Especially the part about the Obama's not sacrificing enough. Ain't that the truth?
ReplyDeleteThe list works for me, but Garrison Keillor, who the other day suggested that Republicans go without health insurance and instead pay for everyone else's, can suck my dick...if he doesn't first suck on his own shotgun.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm not even Republican any more.
BTW...congrats to your Twinkies. What a great game.
ReplyDeleteDD, yes! What an comeback to the season. When they put Justin Morneau on the DL, management had written off the season. Never count out Gardy and the boys.
ReplyDeleteWell...they're beating my Yankees tonight, but I'll remain civil and say: you have no chance in hell of winning the series. :^)
ReplyDeleteThe foul ball call was a big ouch! I've always thought it odd to add outfield umps for the playoffs.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like the young small markte, home-grown team is getting the big psych out from the big city collection of allstar freeagents .. Oh well, that's just sour grapes on my part. If the Pohlad family wasn't such a bunch of cheap bastards we'd still have, Tori Hunter, David Ortiz, and Johan Santana. ... More sour grapes.
The Twins have a new outdoor park to look forward to next year. Hopefully Mauer will stick around for $15-20 million/year instead of going to the Yanks or Bo-Sox for 20-25 years.
BTW. DD .. I didn't see any exit links from here per your troll issue.
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